she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
