This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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