Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
