Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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