Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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