so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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