Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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