my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
