so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
