is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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