Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
