I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
