Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
