so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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