Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
