A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
