Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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