he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
