my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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