if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
