and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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