Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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