I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
