chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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