to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
