four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
