I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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