I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
