Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
