No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
