Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
