i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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