used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
