I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
