dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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