So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
