Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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