You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
