You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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