i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
