I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
