i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
