love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
