Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
