3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
