he told me I talked like a deaf person
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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