I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
