We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
there is puke in my bra ... again
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