just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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