I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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