it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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