Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He better not be in your backpack
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
