Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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